A great way to boost your self esteem and confidence is to keep a confidence diary. It is a smart tool to just remind yourself how good you really are and what you have to be thankful for and pleased about in your life right now. Now is the moment you are in and Now is the time to be happy, which will create your future happiness too. Either buy yourself a notebook or a day to view planner and once a week for the next month I’d like you to jot down your answers to the following confidence questions. No excuses, take the time to do it! Just 15 minutes per week, sit down and jot down your thoughts to: 1. What have I got to be grateful for in my life right now? 2. What am I happy about in my life right now? 3. Why am I happy about these things? 4. What did I accomplish last week? 5. What am I excited about in my life right now? 6. Who do I love and appreciate in my life? 7. Who do I like hanging around? Why? 8. Who loves and appreciates me for who and what I am? Warts ‘n all! :)Answer these questions at the start of each week and it will set you up for success. If you need a little boost midweek, then by all means answer them again. Whenever you want to feel centred and balanced, remind yourself of what you have going for you right now by reading the diary you are keeping. It is really not as bad as you might think. You may just need to open up to the other things that are going on. This will help you facilitate that awareness.
2. What am I happy about in my life right now?
3. Why am I happy about these things?
4. What did I accomplish last week?
5. What am I excited about in my life right now?
6. Who do I love and appreciate in my life?
7. Who do I like hanging around? Why?
8. Who loves and appreciates me for who and what I am? Warts ‘n all! :)
The people whom you have the most contact with and hang around will have either a positive or negative affect on your levels of self-esteem and confidence. We all know those people who are positive, happy and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same! They can bring zest into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive, can do vibes that have a contagious effect on everyone else. We also know those people who can complain and moan all day long! No matter what, they always have a reason for things not going well for them. You know them, they say they never had any opportunities - they are always putting people down, they don’t like others to be successful, they are jealous and are negative thinkers – We have all experienced these people in our lives from time to time. These people drain your energy and bring you down to their level, which is a million miles away from the level that You Want to be operating on when you are trying to create what is your personal best. Family members can be a lot like this also but you can always choose your friends, you can not choose your family. So what should you do to make sure that the people who you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all of the time? 1. You have the power to choose who you hang around with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people.2. If you have good friends who are negative and yet you still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel – if they are a true friend they will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and block out the negativity.3. The same can be said with family. Your more mature family members have behaviours that have been conditioned for years, and from different eras. Appreciate where they have come from and as in number 2 above, elicit and select the information that filters through to you.4. Remember, that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you give it. Do not be afraid to remove those people from your life who do not contribute any positive. You will find that you spend much more time trying to recover your own personal balance after a visit from them. Instead make a point to seek out those who are willing to encourage and support your growth just as you will theirs.
We’ve all got them.
Bad habits.
Whether it’s a perpetual pile of clothes in the corner you’re waiting to someday turn into gold, a self-proclaimed disability which renders you unable to refrain from interrupting, or, a knack for timing your exit just so, so that someone else is continually left to pick up the dishes, now’s the time to extinguish these habits before they turn into next year’s resolutions.
Why?1. It’s not fair to others One of the great universal laws ruling our wonderful planet says that you get back what you put out there. Want others to be kind and considerate to you? Then start putting the considerate, kind vibes out there and pick up your clothes, your dishes, and stop interrupting or whatever it is you or a collective "others" define as a bad habit.2. It’s not fair to you I’m sure you’re a nice person, and you pride yourself on having generous, warmhearted traits. So, it’s not fair to you either that this simple, little, annoying thing you do can wield the power that it now, or will soon have.
These tiny culprits have been known to ruin marriages, friendships, and cause the downfall of many a mighty person.
Plus you’ll feel better about yourself.3. Your success depends on it First they only happen in certain situations, and the next thing you know, you’re at a business function swirling your fingers through the chip dip.
Put an end to it now before situations that require your utmost polish become tarnished by these terribly annoying little critters.4. You probably don’t like it when others do the same thing. Think about it. If someone did the same thing to you, would it bother you? Be honest.
Sometimes all it takes is a simple exercise in empathy to find the motivation to quit whatever it is we could benefit from stopping.5. List your own reasons But be sincere. What is it costing you to perpetuate these habits?
Whether it’s a moment of peace, seemingly perpetual nagging, or simple anxiety resulting from anticipation of the next blow-up or negative comment, you owe it to yourself to commit to your ongoing personal development, and to the elimination of any behavior whose costs far outweigh the benefits. So how does one begin?
Just like breaking a smoking habit, bad habits have a way of creeping up on us and slowly over time becoming somewhat akin to an appendage—i.e. they’re hard to get rid of.
Here are some tips for breaking these bad habits:Start small: While it might not be reasonable to expect that you can just stop whatever you’re doing overnight, identify what might constitute as a small step in the right direction?
Write down what that step is and carry it out over the next 21 days.
Fore example, if you are smoking 40 a day, cut that down to 20 for the next 21 days.
Make that behaviour a habit before you cut that down to 15 for the next 21 days and then 10 and so on.Commit: Promise yourself you’ll make this shift, and if reinforcement and punishment works—use it!
Figure out how you might reward yourself for making the change. Or, figure out how you might penalize yourself if you don’t.
For example, in our smoking example. Put the money you would have spent on the cigarettes in a jar and at the end of the 21 days add it all up and buy yourself a treat.
Cutting down to 20 smokes a day from 40 smokes a day, over a 21-day period at $4 a pack that will save you $84 in just 3 weeks!
Also, write two lists, 1) Reasons why you are doing this and 2) A list of the things that you will miss out on if you keep on doing your bad habit.Identify alternatives: What are some alternatives to the behavior you are demonstrating? Is there a quick fix or solution that might help provide an alternative—e.g. put a laundry basket by the bedside (one to match with the décor) so that you don’t end up with a pile on the floor.Get help: Ask someone to help keep you accountable. If they’ve been victims of this bad habit, they’ll most likely be thrilled you asked!Ask for feedback: Because human nature dictates that we will only complain when you offend, rather than amend, ask for feedback frequently.
Be sure to get praise when praise is due.
Good luck!
